I stood holding back tears
like a guillotine against the wall,
praying that my heartbreak was a foreign language, that
this betrayal was a blade beneath my skin, invisible.
and in one moment I swear
I understood all the pain in the world.
I knew why I had let death roost
between my shoulder blades,
I knew why children grieved their tiny pets
and buried them in shoe boxes;
I understood mothers
leaving their children behind at parks,
I understood all those skinny boys smoking
and holding tight to women who cried,
I understood crowds with shaking hands
trying to breathe but forgetting
and trying to hit that high but missing
over and over and over again,
I understood why people lied,
fell out of love,
dyed their hair,
cut their skin,
hid their tears.
suddenly all this sadness that had been
around me all my life became real,
and I hated it,
I hated that it was real
so I cried for every single
lonely beaten person out there
and it still won't make a difference.
and he is a single drum beat,